'A' a means to an end?

I have a love/hate relationship with my current WIP. I'm in love with the characters and the general idea of the plot, but I don't think the idea is original enough, in its current state.

A few beta readers have commented that it bears striking similarities to another current hit book series which I shall not mention. This leaves me with two options:

1.     I change up A's opening, dramatically. A few thoughts have been percolating since yesterday, (one particularly grand idea, I had in the bathtub)

2.     I trunk A.

I'd be sad to see it go, honestly. I've worked on it for the better part of the summer. It is my first attempt at Sci-fi, I usually write edgy YA, and I loved every minute of it.

But the bottom line is, I am on a personal deadline. I want to write a book that will one day get published, sooner rather than later. 'A' isn't the only egg in my basket, it's just my favorite.

For now, I'll finish up A--- make the necessary opening change, and then see how I feel about it after a second round of beta's.

Cue good song.

Where has your voice gone?

It's nearing 11, and I have spent most of the day trying to jump back into my MC's head. Or for him to jump in mine. Either or... really.

I've scoured my playlist, looking for a song to relate his emotional state, at present. Which would have worked, if I knew what his emotional state was. His voice is not calling to me, like it usually does. (Blunt and clipped with the added inflection.) Perhaps, because I rotate between two other character POV's?

Even so, he is my MC. Isn't he supposed to be the loudest voice in my head?

I know what I must write in this scene. I know how the scene will end, but I am stuck banging my head against a wall, trying to figure out how to get him from A to B.

I suppose the best I can do, is write. Even if its shit writing. Even if its means to an end... or no means at all. I will write. And then I will look back over it tommorow, after my first cup of English Breakfast tea... and I will laugh and most likely make nice with the delete button.

Two steps forwards... one step back.

MC if you are out there, listening. Stop ignoring me and tell me what you are thinking in minute detail, please and thank you:)

Also, in other news... I have decided to refer to my current project as 'A'. TM has now become the singular 'A'. It does have a title, one I am not completely sold on, at the moment... so 'A' it is for now.

This song usually gets me in MCF's mood.

Its Been Awhile.

I haven't kept up with my blogging, and for that I'm sorry.
No real excuse... other than... life has gotten the best of me, and I'm generally a lazy procrastinating... cow. I prefer the first excuse... so lets stick with that one.

My interests tend to meander... and now with the makeup and modeling phase of my life... clearly behind me. I've found a new love. Ba... ba... ba (cue epic music)...

...Writing...

I've written short stories and poetry... pretty much since I first picked up a crayon... and realized I could make letters with it. (It was a blue crayon... if I remember correctly... not that, that matters).
Besides the grammar segment... high school English was a breeze. My reports, always leaned toward the more fanciful... moral story... approach. The way I saw it, if I were said teacher... I would get tired of reading... pubescent points of view on various life topics, such as describe how you would solve a moral dilemma... blah... blah... blah. I mean, how different could our points of view have been at sixteen. Our life experiences... (for most of us)... were minimal. We weren't robbing the seven eleven... or popping out babies yet. That stuff came later on, but I digress.
I always wrote a story instead of an essay. A story that tackled the topic... in a way that was relate-able, but still interesting. Even teachers get bored of teaching... so I thought I would give them a little break. Hence... the reason I always got an A.

Even earlier... around 12... I was obsessed with writing. Poems mainly. On love and other things, I knew nothing about. Here's one I wrote... around that time.

You said these things take time,
So I watched the pale yellow sun
that faded our painted flowers,
and burnished your skin golden,
warming you from the outside in.
I watched the rain, fall
on your wind-burned red cheeks,
like tears you'd never cry.
I watched the lines deepen and soften,
your once hard stolid face,
and I longed to trace your imperfections
with my finger, to capture them
in my waning memory.
I watched your eyes dull and tire,
and I wondered what you were thinking,
what mysteries existed still,
behind your closed windows.
I watched you live and die,
as we killed time.
But love took too long, and time killed us.

Mind the grammar. I'm still shit with that. I still use made up words... at least my spelling is not atrocious... and I generally use the right there, their... and they're.

ANYWAYS... I feel I have gotten way off track... and lost the point of this post, in all my literary ranting. Although, I do love makeup and clothing... as much as the next girl. It shall no longer take up main residence on my blog. This place will be a place... I post all my rants... and my writing progress. As of right now... (I am supposed to be)... working on TM. The manuscript... or the masterpiece... take it whatever way you will.

I am lucky that my wpm... is off the charts, now if only my brain could work as fast :P

xoxo, Charis (I only sign off like that... because of gossip girl... and Kristen Bell's cute voice... replays in my head... every time.)

Oh how I've changed

I thought I do a more personal blogpost tonight.  I love seeing pictures of other bloggers throughout the years...seeing how much a person can change.  I know I don't have nearly enough pictures to show all my changes through the years...lol.  I seriously went through a goth stage, but I have no pictures:(

As you can see I wasn't the cutest kid...I had a huge mouth and big red lips.  In grade 5 I thought it would be a good idea to cut all my hair off, EVERYONE thought I was a boy.  It was horrible lol...girls in my class had crushes on me till they realized I was a girl...never again I swore...would I ever cut ALL my hair off.

Ah highschool, I'm about 16 here...I went to the tanning beds everyday...horrid I know.  I worked out like crazy and I dyed my hair blond.  I wore tons of bronzer and barely any other makeup.  I was really trying to fit in and failing horribly.  Highschool wasn't my greatest moment, I got bullied a lot.  Girls would call me horrible names and throw things in the cafeteria.

At 18 I went through a bit of a punk phase. I listened to skater music and pretended to skate...I also took up the bass guitar.  My makeup consisted of heavy eyeliner a la Avril Lavigne...and I thought it was cool to wear a bra strap around my neck.

I dyed my hair black when I met my hubby.  We moved in together after two weeks he proposed at 6 months, and we were pregnant within the year.  I gained a ton of weight in the beginning of my first pregnancy...there came a point where DDD bras were not fitting:(  I didn't really care so much for makeup back then, brown and gold eyeshadows and bronzer.

After having my daughter I thought I would try to look more like a mum.  I cut my hair once again the angled bob that everyone was doing, and didn't dye it.  This is my natural hair color:)  I wore pretty simple makeup just eyeliner and blush.  I loved my hair this way but my hubby hated it...lol.

And here I am pregnant with my son, thats my mum and my brother in the background.  With my son I didn't gain any weight but in my stomach...look at that thing its like a beach ball.  My hair was still short and simple, so much easier to do in the mornings.  I wore my regular jeans my entire pregnancy but just didn't button the top button...haha.

After my son was born I let my hair grow, I missed long hair.  And dyed it dark brown.  I just had to add this picture in here.  These are 2 of my sisters I have 6, but this is totally our personalties...haha its very hard for me to be serious in a picture.

This summer, I did my first ever 'bikini photoshoot'...at 25 after 2 kids.  I was pretty terrified, especially since the lovely model with me is a pro cheerleader/ballerina and 19....:P  She is probably one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in real life.  This is pretty close to what I look like today, minus the tan...I am white as a ghost come September.  In the 2 years since my son was born my hair has gone from my jaw to near my belly button.  I am very lucky it grows so fast.

So there you have it...I wish I had more interesting pictures, but in the last 2 years I haven't changed all that much.  I've definitely gotten better with makeup...my eyebrows no longer look like I colored them in with a sharpie and I finally gave up the winged liquid eyeliner.  I'd love to see pictures of you guys when you were younger:) XOXO Charis