This is from the now defunct 'A', which I've reworked into AR. I just rewrote this scene a couple days ago for AR, it's much more tense/higher stakes now. The relationship between these characters is complicated, and in AR it's even more so.
I never like to let a cut scene go to waste, if I can recycle some small part of it then I feel like it has some purpose. 'A' helped me get a feel for all my characters which I carried on over to AR.
So AR is coming along, decently. I'm about 35k in and probably somewhere close to half-way finished. I've found my pace has slowed considerably. Mainly due to my characters: their inner quirks--and their major flaws.
FLAWS.
Take my MC Finn, his ridiculous vulgar inner dialogue combined with his rash outer demeanor, conflicts with his protective/soft tendencies. He's a see-do-(hold the think) type character <--- Sure this makes him interesting, but it also makes him stupid.
So stupid.
I'm banging my head against a wall right now writing a scene for him.
It's not that I don't love him, I do. Too much so. I don't want to see him fail, but sometimes he does. He has to make those mistakes because it's in his character to do so, but also because it furthers my plot.
(On a side note: keeping up his rude/witty commentary is hard-- after the 'Big Event' this becomes less of an issue, Yay)
Then there is MC Rohan, who started off personality-less. I wrote Finn with such strong personality that she fell by the wayside the first go around. Finn is blunt and states right off the bat who he is, what he wants, and what he's about. Rohan is secretive and sly, and mistrusting, but the further I get into the story--the more I discover about her. Her paranoia has been something I've started sprinkling in here and there. Paranoia is fun.
The one thing that I worry about constantly is whether I'm portraying a strong female character. Physically she is not strong, but mentally-- she is the strongest of them all. That is the point I want to get across, due to the subject matter of AR. Mental strength is of extreme importance.
This is especially evident, after the 'Big Event'. Wherein Rohan transforms--Finn not so much.
Both of my POV characters are flawed, both of them make bad decisions, and both pay consequences. But will both learn from their mistakes? That is something I haven't allowed myself to think about yet. As of this moment I'm putting my characters through hell without any hope of coming out unscathed.
When it came down to it, I had to face the facts and the facts were in its current state 'A' was not original enough. Sad but true. :( Also I realized that if I am going to publish one day 'A' was not the first book I wanted associated with my name. It didn't represent me as clearly as I would have liked it to.
The way I see it, trunking doesn't mean failure. It means I tried really, really hard at doing something and learned a ton along the way. Which I did. I've learned more in the last month, than I learned all three years of highschool. My lovely Beta's have helped me so much in this area. I admire their bold criticism.
Which leads me to my next point. Beta-ing. I believe the critiquer learns as much as the critiquee, at least it seems that way in my case. When I'm looking for flaws in someones work--I see these same flaws in my own work and make the change. Which is how I came to realize that 'A' wasn't working out.
Still, 'A' was my first attempt at a full length novel and I put a decent three months work into it. So to see it go, was a sad, sad day. But alas, I am mostly an optimist.
Which is why... da... da... da... I have a SHINY NEW thing I've been working on.
It is pretty much 'A' with a massive overhaul. I'm calling it AR for now, and AR is fun to write, simply because it is me, dark, edgy, a little dangerous. Or at least the way I'd like to see myself:)
It's nearing 11, and I have spent most of the day trying to jump back into my MC's head. Or for him to jump in mine. Either or... really.
I've scoured my playlist, looking for a song to relate his emotional state, at present. Which would have worked, if I knew what his emotional state was. His voice is not calling to me, like it usually does. (Blunt and clipped with the added inflection.) Perhaps, because I rotate between two other character POV's?
Even so, he is my MC. Isn't he supposed to be the loudest voice in my head?
I know what I must write in this scene. I know how the scene will end, but I am stuck banging my head against a wall, trying to figure out how to get him from A to B.
I suppose the best I can do, is write. Even if its shit writing. Even if its means to an end... or no means at all. I will write. And then I will look back over it tommorow, after my first cup of English Breakfast tea... and I will laugh and most likely make nice with the delete button.
Two steps forwards... one step back.
MC if you are out there, listening. Stop ignoring me and tell me what you are thinking in minute detail, please and thank you:)
Also, in other news... I have decided to refer to my current project as 'A'. TM has now become the singular 'A'. It does have a title, one I am not completely sold on, at the moment... so 'A' it is for now.
